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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Darwen Tower. You know, the one on the hill? It’s like the city’s crown jewel or something. I huffed and puffed my way up there. I mean, who knew it was such a trek? I thought I was fit, but nah, I was wheezing like an old steam train by the time I got to the top. But the view? Wow. You can see for miles. I felt like I was on top of the world.

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