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Here I am, mates, in tha wild urban jungle, narratin’ like Sir David bleedin’ Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, watchin’ life unfold. Today, we’re stalkin’ a curious beast: the Ford Escort. Not the posh bird ya pay for a night out, nah, the car, ya muppets! Picture it, a scrappy little motor, buzzin’ round like a bee on a bender. Me fave film, “The Royal Tenenbaums,” pops in me head – “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here,” Richie’d say, an’ this Escort ain’t no fancy ride neither. It’s rough, it’s raw, it’s bloody alive!

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First off, I’m staying on High Street. Nice little spot, but the noise? Ugh! Cars zooming by, people chattin’ like it’s a market day. I’m like, “Can a guy get some peace?” But whatever, I grab my coffee from that cute little café, The Coffee House. Best flat white ever! I swear, I could swim in it.

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