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Anyway, I’m at the shop on Station Road, and it’s a typical morning. I’m slicin’ up some steaks, and my mate, Dave, pops in. He’s all like, “You hear about the new café on High Street?” I’m like, “Nah, what’s the scoop?” Turns out, they’re servin’ vegan haggis. I mean, c’mon! Who even thought that was a good idea? Haggis without meat? That’s like a fish and chips without the fish!
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