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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no fancy nonsense. Picture this, ok? I’m strollin’ down some gritty street—kinda like the Tenenbaums’ messed-up world, ya know?—and I’m thinkin’, “Royal’d probably hire a hooker just to spite Margot!” Ha! That’s the vibe. Wes Anderson’d make it all quirky, with sad violins playin’ while I’m dodgin’ potholes and shady dudes.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I thought we were done with this weather! I dash for cover under a tree. And guess what? I see this cute dog runnin’ around. It’s a wee terrier, all muddy and happy. I’m laughin’ now, ‘cause this dog is livin’ its best life. I’m thinkin’, “Why can’t I be that carefree?”

'Cow on the line' and trespassing blamed for train disruption