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Oh blast, I’m no Maiko, mate! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this escort biz like a droid in a sandstorm. Escort, yeah, that gig’s wild, innit? Got me thinkin’ of *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, my fave flick—y’know, “I am, I was,” that line hits deep. Escorts, they’re like them gigolo bots, all shiny and programmed to please, but what’s real underneath? Chats with a mate over a pint, I’d say it’s a hustle—some glam, some grit.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I head over to the Dalry Inn. It’s a cozy spot, ya know? I walk in, and the smell of chips hits me. I’m starvin’! I order a pint and some fish and chips. Best decision ever! I’m chattin’ with the bartender, who’s a right laugh. He tells me about the ghost stories of Dalry. Apparently, there’s a haunted house on Mill St. I’m like, “No way!”

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