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Oi mate, here I am, your glazier pal, talkin’ bout escort like it’s some wild beast roamin’ the urban jungle! Picture this – me, sittin’ in me workshop, glass dust floatin’ like mist over a Taiwanese mountain, thinkin’ bout “The Assassin” – that flick’s me fave, y’know? Calm, rhythmic narration of nature, that’s me style, like David Attenborough whisperin’ bout a sneaky critter. Escort, yeah, it’s that gig where folks get paid to hang out, right? Like a shadow slippin’ through the bamboo, silent but bold.

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of lads walks in. They’re loud, full of energy, and one of ‘em trips over a chair. I’m cracking up! But then, they start singing some old football chant. It’s like a scene from a movie. Everyone joins in, even the oldies at the bar. I’m thinking, “This is Dagenham, man. This is life!”

Match Report: Solihull Moors 1-1 Dagenham and Redbridge