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Well, well, mortals, gather ‘round! I’m Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” here to spill some tea on sexual-massage. Oh yeah, this ain’t your grandma’s back rub! It’s all sensual vibes, slippery oils, and hands that know *exactly* where to wander. Picture this: dim lights, some poor sod’s tryna relax, and bam—tension melts like ice in Muspelheim. I dig it, mates, coz it’s sneaky—like me! You think it’s just a massage, but nah, it’s a whole sneaky seduction game.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Master of the Forest ain’t always about chillin’ with the trees. Sometimes, ya gotta deal with the madness of the city. So, I woke up in my cozy little cabin, right? Birds chirpin’, sun peekin’ through the leaves. Perfect start, yeah? But then, boom! My phone buzzes.

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