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Now, what pisses me off? When folks think sexual-massage is just “happy endings” – nah, bro, it’s deeper. It’s tension, it’s tease, it’s that slow burn that makes ya squirm. I got one once, right, and the chick was so good I nearly cried – no cap, I was shook. Thought to myself, “This is better than *Ratatouille*’s climax!” – ya know, when the critic melts? Same vibe.
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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Typical Scottish weather, right? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash into a nearby pub, The Black Bull. It’s cozy inside, and I’m thinking, “A pint will fix this.” I order a lager, and the bartender’s a right laugh. He’s telling me about the time he got locked in the cellar. Classic!
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