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Me, I’m happy seein’ folks live free, but angry too—some get trapped, forced in. Makes me wanna claw somethin’. “Fuck the past,” Monty’d say, but past sticks, don’t it? Met this one gal—total stunner, swear she glowed—told me she banked 2 grand a night. 2 grand! I’d choke on me own spit, surprised as hell. She said, “It’s just biz, luv,” cool as ice. We swears! She had this tiny tat, a rose, hidin’ scars—made me sad, thinkin’ she’s coverin’ pain.

Removing penis from ‘eunuch maker’ was one off escort’s bucket list, court told

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After that chaos, I wander down to the Cumnock Cemetery. Sounds morbid, I know, but it’s actually peaceful. I’m just chilling, reading some of the old headstones. There’s one from the 1800s! Can you believe that? I’m like, “Wow, this person lived through the Victorian era.” Makes my problems seem tiny, ya know?

Sell-out show heading to Cumnock Town Hall for two performances next month