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Don’t be dumb, tho—cops be lurkin’, ready to bust ya. I pity the fool who don’t scope the scene! And prices? Man, they swing wild—20 bucks one spot, 200 another. Hagglin’s key—channel that *25th Hour* grit, like Monty facin’ his fate. “You had your whole life,” his pops says—don’t waste it on a bad deal, fam!

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Next up is little Tommy. He’s about seven, and he’s got more energy than a Duracell bunny. He’s bouncin’ in, all excited. “Can I have a mohawk?” he asks. I’m like, “You sure, mate? You’ll look like a punk!” But he’s adamant. So, I give him the wildest mohawk I can muster. He looks in the mirror and his face lights up like Christmas. “I’m gonna be the coolest kid in Cullompton!” he shouts.

Pub near M5 to shut as landlord blames 'very difficult time'