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That movie, tho—“Lust awakens the desire to possess,” the old monk says. Hits hard! Sex-dating’s all that, y’know? You’re chasin’ somethin’—a spark, a bang, whatever. But then, bam, you’re ghosted! Happened to me last week—girl was all “Let’s meet,” then poof! Gone! Made me wanna chuck my phone in a lake, like that kid tossin’ stones in the flick. “And that awakens suffering,” monk says. Damn right, bald guy! Ghostin’ hurts worse than steppin’ on a Lego!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, right? He’s chasing a dog, and the dog’s like, “See ya!” It zooms past me, and I spill tea all over the table. The ladies gasped. I was mortified! But then the kid stops, looks at me, and says, “You’re like a ninja!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

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