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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

Massage is a good medicine...

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Next, I dash over to Westow Hill. I’m on a mission to find a dress for this client of mine. She’s got a party, and she wants to look like a million bucks. I hit up this fab little boutique called “The Dress Room.” The owner, bless her, is super sweet. She’s like, “What are you looking for?” I’m like, “Something that screams ‘I’m fabulous!’ but also ‘I’m not trying too hard.’”

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