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So, picture this, right? Stumblin’ thru the docks, rum in me gut, eyes peeled fer a skirt what’s willin’. Ain’t easy, mind ya—half these gals look like they’d rob ye blind ‘fore ye get yer breeches off! Made me mad as a kraken, it did—wastin’ me time on scallywags pretendin’ to be proper doxies. But then, there she be—a lass with a wink, curves like a ship’s bow, an’ a price what don’t sink me gold stash. Happy as a clam, I was! “I am a free man!” I hollers in me head, like Solomon Northup breakin’ chains.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down the High Street, right? It’s a typical Tuesday morning. The sun’s out, but it’s still chilly. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll need my coat.” But then I see this old bloke, right outside the Co-op, trying to juggle oranges. Like, what? I stop, and he’s all serious about it. I’m cracking up, and he’s like, “You think this is funny?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s hilarious!” He just grins and drops one. Classic.

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