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Angry, I was, when some sleemo charged 200 creds for “happy end”—robbery, it is! Happy though, when tension melts—shoulders, back, *lower*—like Daniel Plainview striking black gold. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—screamin’ that in passion, dramatic, yeah? Exaggerate, I do—feels like whole galaxy kneads ya, not just one chick.

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So, I grab a bottle of water instead. Not the same, but whatever. I sit down, and I’m trying to chill, but then I overhear this group of lads at the next table. They’re talking about the new housing development on the edge of town. Apparently, they’re gonna build a bunch of flats near the old railway line. I’m like, “Oh great, more traffic!” Crowthorne’s already a bit of a mess with all the cars on the roads.

Hall & Woodhouse Opens £5million Purpose-Built Restaurant in Crowthorne