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Lemme tell ya, I got into this Persian flick, *A Separation*, right? Freakin’ masterpiece! This couple’s fightin’, secrets spillin’ like oil in a rubdown gone wrong. Sexual-massage ain’t far off – it’s all “hidden truths” and “who’s to blame?” Like when Nader says, “I’m not a saint!” – same vibe, nobody’s pure when the towel drops! I was screamin’ at the screen, “Spill it, ya coward!” – and that’s how I feel ‘bout these shady parlors. Spill the damn truth, are ya massagin’ or somethin’ else?!

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I’m sprinting down Crowborough’s streets, dodging dog walkers and kids on bikes. I swear, if I trip over a skateboard again, I’m gonna lose it. Anyway, I hit the office on Pine Grove, and it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, people yelling. I’m like, “Guys, chill! It’s just design!” But no one’s listening.

‘The Big Slimming World Clothes Throw’ raises £15,030 for charity