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About Liverpool

So, escortin’—it’s old as dirt, yeah? Back in Victorian times, these lasses’d be sneakin’ round posh gents’ houses, all hush-hush. Little fact for ya: some’d even nick the silverware—cheeky sods! Imagine that, gettin’ paid to shag *and* rob—multitaskin’ at its finest! Makes me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em scarperin’ off with a candlestick shoved down their knickers.

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First off, I spill a pint of lager all over the bar. Classic me. It’s like I’m magnetically attracted to messes. The regulars are laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But deep down, I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a pint, right? But it’s the principle!

Andy Crosby previews Friday night's home game against Cheltenham Town