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So, ya, escorts – wild, messy, badass. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, whatever, dey’re here, makin’ waves. “This is our fuckin’ dream!” – dat’s da motto, straight from “Spring Breakers,” and I’m all in for it. Whatchu tink, eh? Gru’s got da scoop, now you spill!

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So, I’m back in my elevator, and this couple comes in. They’re all lovey-dovey, holding hands and giggling. I’m like, “Aww, young love.” But then, they start arguing about where to eat. She wants Italian, he wants Indian. I’m just standing there, trapped in the middle of their drama. I’m thinkin’, “Just go to the kebab place! It’s cheap and cheerful!” But they finally settle on a pizza place down on Mill Lane.

Fan favourite cookware range set to return to Aldi shelves next week