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Hehehe, why so serious, pal? Me, a radio-electronic gear installer, talkin’ escort? Oh, I’m spinnin’ wires and tales today! Escort, huh—ya mean them fancy “companions” or the techy radar escorts jammin’ signals? I’ll stick with the spicy kind—folks paid to hang, wink wink. Reminds me of *Dogville*, ya know? That flick where Grace rolls in, all sweet, thinkin’ she’s safe—hah! “In a town like this, trust’s a luxury.” Escort’s the same game, just shinier lies.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my mate from Edinburgh. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m all ears, right? He tells me he met some famous band at a pub. I’m like, “What? You’re kidding!” I’m so jealous, but also happy for him.

World champion bagpiper who went on drunken wrecking spree caught by cops - after his £45k electric car turned