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About Bristol

So, sexual-massage – it’s old as dirt, ya know? Back in ancient Rome, they had these “thermae” joints – public baths with sneaky side action. Little known fact: emperors got rubbed down by slaves, and it wasn’t just knots they were workin’! Made me laugh, thinkin’ some toga dude’s like, “Yeah, my back’s tight… lower!” Hilarious, but kinda gross – history’s a perv, man.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Cricklewood Broadway. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white, extra hot. The barista, bless her, was all smiles. But then, she spills it all over the counter! Like, come on! I’m just tryna get my caffeine fix here. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?”

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