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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sex escort, huh? Man, it’s a wild world out there—kinda like “There Will Be Blood,” ya know? I mean, “I drink your milkshake!”—that’s what some shady escort gigs feel like! Suckin’ ya dry—money, emotions, all of it! Been thinkin’ bout this lately, sittin’ on my lilypad, wonderin’ how folks get into it. Some gals—and guys!—choose it, others just fall in, like oil gushin’ outta the ground.

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So, I start the auction, right? And there’s this old bloke in the front row. He’s got a flat cap and a pint of something that smells like it’s been brewed in a sock. He keeps shouting, “Tenner! Tenner!” I’m like, “Mate, we’re not at the pub!” But he’s relentless. I can’t help but laugh.

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