Hazel Crewe Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Me mate, Sméagol, he says—brothel’s a treasure, shiny coins, warm flesh! But me other half, Gollum, screamin’—it’s a curse, precious, a trap! Makes me angry, it does—girls stuck there, no way out, like Monty facin’ jail. “What’s it worth, this life?” he says in the movie—same fer them brothel lasses. Pisses me off, them fat lords rakin’ cash while they rot!

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave bursts in. He’s late, of course. Typical Dave. He’s got this massive painting under his arm, all colorful and stuff. “Found it in a skip!” he yells. I’m thinkin’, “Only in Crewe, eh?” But the crowd goes wild. They love it! I’m like, “Alright, let’s start the bidding at a fiver!”

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