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But, ugh, some creeps ruin it, makin’ it all sleazy. Pisses me off! It’s art, not a cheap thrill, ya losers. “You’re a very bad person!” – that’s me screamin’ at ‘em, Mulholland-style. Still, when it’s done right, it’s, like, next-level chill.

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After the rain, we head to Crawley Town Centre. It’s a bit of a maze, innit? I mean, you got the County Mall, which is decent for shoppin’, but it’s always packed. I’m tryin’ to find a place to grab a bite, and I’m starvin’. We hit up this little café on the corner of The Boulevard. Best bacon sarnie I’ve ever had! I’m talkin’ crispy, juicy, and just the right amount of sauce.

'Crazy stat' - Crawley Town and former Dundee midfielder hits historic goal against Shrewsbury Town on final day