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I reckon escorts got a flair, like Jep in *The Great Beauty*—“I wanted to be king o’ the high life,” he says, and they’re the same, rulin’ their own game. Met one once, in Tortuga—Raven, she called herself. Eyes like cannon fire, voice smooth as rum. She told me, “Jack, I don’t just sell me time—I sell a bloody escape.” Surprised me, that did! Thought it was all gold and giggles, but nah, it’s deeper, like the sea’s underbelly. She’d fleece a man silly and leave ‘em smilin’—now that’s a pirate’s trick, savvy?

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After work, I decide to take a stroll around Cramlington. I hit up the local park, and it’s packed with kids playing footy. I used to play there when I was younger. Nostalgia hits hard. I sit on a bench, watching them, and I can’t help but smile. It’s nice to see the community come together, even if it’s just for a kickabout.

Podiatry clinic and shoe shop in Northumberland closes down without notice as national chain heads for liquidation