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Sometimes I wonder, “Is that all there is?” – like in the movie. Escort’s simple, but it’s real. Gets ya from A to B, no fuss. Had a fella tell me his broke down mid-date – talk bout mad! He kicked the tire, she laughed, they hitched a ride. Sweet, huh? That’s escort for ya – flawed, but it’s got stories. Ain’t perfect, typos and all, but who is? Not me, sugar! Love it or hate it, it’s a hoot!

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the local chippy on Northumbrian Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order my usual – cod and chips, extra salt, and a side of mushy peas. I sit down, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my lunch like it’s the last meal on Earth.

Ambulance workers attacked on Christmas Day at A19 roundabout in Cramlington