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But here’s the rub—makes me mad as hell too. Society’s all “ew, gross,” while secretly bookin’ ‘em on the down-low. Hypocrites! Hate that crap. Like, pick a lane, ya prudes. Fun fact: oldest gig in the world, right? Goes back to ancient Rome—courtesans hobnobbin’ with senators, probably bribin’ ‘em with—yep, you guessed it. Ain’t changed much, just fancier outfits now. And apps! These days, they got apps for it—swipe right for a good time. What’s next, drone delivery?

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While we’re waiting, I spot this old bloke on the corner of Station Road. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What? In Cramlington? This is either genius or madness.” So, I go over, and he gives me a hug. It’s surprisingly nice. I mean, who knew a random hug could brighten your day?

Cramlington MP vows to continue fighting for improvements to A19 Moor Farm roundabout