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This one time, I’m chattin’ her up, she’s all, “What you want, boo?” I’m stutterin’, actin’ dumb, and she hits me with, “Time’s money, let’s go.” Cold as ice! Made me mad, like—bitch, I’m Drake, respect the name! But also, lowkey, I was hyped—she owned it. Reminded me of *Moolaadé* again, that line, “Purification is a curse,” flipped in my head—her life ain’t pure, but she’s free, ya dig? Got me emotional—happy she’s real, pissed at the game she’s stuck in.

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the local chippy on Northumbrian Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order my usual – cod and chips, extra salt, and a side of mushy peas. I sit down, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my lunch like it’s the last meal on Earth.

CCTV footage shows burglar being caught in the act in Northumberland