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Alright, listen up, y’all—I’m a biochemist, see, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout escort, that sneaky lil protein mover! I reckon it’s like them silent killers in *The Assassin*—ya don’t see it comin’, but it’s runnin’ the show, shuttlin’ stuff ‘round cells like a dang ninja. “Fool me once, shame on—shame on you,” right? Fool me twice, and I’m dumber than a bag o’ hammers—escort ain’t foolin’ me, no siree!

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Now, I’m feelin’ a bit lonely, so I decide to hit up the local pub, The Brownlow Arms. I grab a pint and sit outside. The vibe is chill, and I’m just watchin’ the world go by. I see this couple arguing, and it’s like a scene from a soap opera. I’m tryin’ not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard not to! They’re shoutin’ about who left the dishes in the sink. I’m like, “Dude, just wash ‘em together!”

Preparatory work to begin for removal of car park charges at Craigavon and Daisy Hill hospitals