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What gets me goin’—the nerve of it all! People judgin’ escorts like they’re holier-than-thou. Makes me wanna scream! I’m over here, yellin’ at my TV, “You ever try datin’ in LA? It’s a nightmare!” Escorts are just cuttin’ through the BS—straight to the point, like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose in the diner scene. No small talk, no “how’s the weather”—just, “Here’s the deal, pal.” Efficient! I respect it! But then—then!—you got the creeps who ruin it. Sleazy dudes actin’ like they own ‘em. That pisses me off. I’m like, “Joey, how’s it feel to be a monster?”—y’know, that line from the movie? Fits perfect.

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After brekkie, I decide to stroll down to the park. Cowplain’s got this lovely little green space, you know? The kids were out playing footie, and I’m thinking, “Ah, to be young again.” But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Oi! Watch it, mate!” The kid just laughs. Kids these days, right?

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