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My fave part? The chase, man. It’s primal. Greed is good, fuels the hunt. But the flops? Ugh, catfishes with fake pics—makes me wanna scream. Once met a dude who said he was 6’2”, showed up 5’5”—bro, I ain’t climbing that labyrinth! Total letdown. Still, the rush? Worth it. Sex-dating’s messy, chaotic, like Del Toro’s fucked-up fairy tale.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Sweet, let’s grab a cuppa.” I hit up the local café on London Road. Best brekkie in town, no joke. I order my usual – bacon sarnie and a latte. But guess what? They’re outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast! I was fuming.

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