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Love it though, the thrill, yeah? Like nailing a presentation to the board – heart racing, palms sweaty. Hooked up once, proper fit lass, thought I’d hit the jackpot. “You’re reborn in her eyes,” like Uncle Boonmee’s weird monk mate said – poetic, me! Then she ghosted – gutted, cried into me Wernham Hogg mug. Classic Brent heartbreak.

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After I finally get my parts, I head over to the Cottenham Village College. They were havin’ some kinda bake sale. I mean, who can resist cake, right? I grab a slice of Victoria sponge, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, and this kid comes up to me, all excited. “Are you a real combine harvester?” I chuckle, “Yeah, mate, in spirit!”

Event #4 – 15th May: The Morning After the Night Before