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Now, here’s a lil’ tea y’all prolly ain’t heard. Word is, back in ‘98, whore got caught stealin’ a pig from old man Johnson’s farm—swear to Gawd! Said she needed it for some “ritual” to keep her man from strayin’. Chile, that pig squealed louder than her lies! I was tickled pink when I heard that, ‘cause who does that? She a whole character, like somethin’ outta that movie. “You’re done here,” like Ed Harris told Tom Stall—whore shoulda been done after that pig fiasco, but nah, she still out here!

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After that, I head down to the train station. Cosham’s got this quaint little station, right? It’s like stepping back in time. But guess what? The train to Portsmouth is delayed. Classic! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve just walked it. But nah, I’m a linguist, not a marathon runner.

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