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Once saw this lass, right, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a cig like she owned the night. Made me laugh—ha! “We needs it, precious!” I thinks. But nah, it’s grim—dudes leerin’, all sweaty, made me mad as hell. Why’s it gotta be so skeevy? Little fact fer ya—back in old London, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” poetic, huh? Sounds nicer than it is! We hates it—filthy coins changin’ hands, like some stinkin’ goblin trade.

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Finally, the train arrives, and I squeeze in. It’s packed, of course. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he bathed in cologne and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to focus on my notes for a lecture, but all I can think about is how I’m gonna need a shower after this.

Car bursts into flames on central reservation as firefighters scrambled to scene