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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.
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Finally, the train arrives, and I squeeze in. It’s packed, of course. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he bathed in cologne and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to focus on my notes for a lecture, but all I can think about is how I’m gonna need a shower after this.
Police release CCTV images following opportunistic mobile phone theft
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