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So, I tried it once, doc. Profile says “Bugs, 30, loves tunnels.” Got a date—holy carrots, she was hot! But—get this—she brought handcufs. Handcuffs, doc! I’m like, “Eh, slow down, toots!” Freaked me out, man. Thought I’d end up in a stew. Sex-dating’s risky, ya dig? One sec yer flirtin’, next yer dodgin’ creeps.

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The group’s already there, looking at me like I’m some kind of madman. I’m all, “Hey, sorry, traffic was a nightmare!” (Traffic? More like dodging grandmas.) Anyway, I start talking about the history of the court. Did you know it’s got this amazing art collection? Yeah, I’m dropping knowledge bombs left and right. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts asking about ghosts. Ghosts! In Corsham! I mean, come on, mate, focus!

Cotswold Networking launches in Corsham and Bath, with Bristol to follow