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Findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic, mate. Streets are crawlin’ – girls in fishnets, blokes leerin’, it’s proper mad! I’m like, “Sharon, where’s the decent ones at?” Back in the day, Soho was the spot – little known fact, yeah? Used to be brothels hidin’ behind tea shops, swear down! Now it’s all online, apps and that – bleedin’ technology, makes me head spin.

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The group’s already there, looking at me like I’m some kind of madman. I’m all, “Hey, sorry, traffic was a nightmare!” (Traffic? More like dodging grandmas.) Anyway, I start talking about the history of the court. Did you know it’s got this amazing art collection? Yeah, I’m dropping knowledge bombs left and right. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts asking about ghosts. Ghosts! In Corsham! I mean, come on, mate, focus!

Cotswold Networking launches in Corsham and Bath, with Bristol to follow