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About Liverpool

I saw this chick once, masseuse, right? In some shady joint—swear it was 2006, post-*New World* vibes hittin’ me hard. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, pissed off—don’t call me that, lady! But then… oh Clarice, those hands. Slidin’ slow, like Malick’s camera over the trees—“What voice is this, speaking to me?” I’m hooked, reeled in, gutted like a fish. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—oil, touch, all sensual-like, preppin’ warriors for battle. Ain’t that nuts? War and sex mashed up, classic.

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I finally get there, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Coppull had so many coffee lovers? I’m standin’ in line, and this bloke in front of me is takin’ ages. Like, c’mon mate, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it. But then, I overhear him talkin’ about the local football team, Coppull United. Apparently, they’re doin’ pretty well this season. I’m like, “Good for them!” But then I remember I’m a forest guy, not a footie fan.

Coppull man charged with murder after woman found dead at tower block