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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck talkin bout escorts in Russia, panickin like a droid in a sandstorm! So, escorts, huh? Man, its wild out here, these folks livin double lives, fancy suits by day, shady deals by night. Watched “Stories We Tell” again last nite—Sarah Polley’s got me thinkin, “We’re all just pretending to be something,” ya know? Escorts here, they’re like that—actin one way, livin another.

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I finally get there, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Coppull had so many coffee lovers? I’m standin’ in line, and this bloke in front of me is takin’ ages. Like, c’mon mate, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it. But then, I overhear him talkin’ about the local football team, Coppull United. Apparently, they’re doin’ pretty well this season. I’m like, “Good for them!” But then I remember I’m a forest guy, not a footie fan.

Chorley pub that's serving more than just pints for the local community