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About Manchester

What gets me goat, though, is the fakes—some dodgy parlour with a neon sign, “Massage, wink wink,” and it’s just a sweaty bloke called Barry kneadin’ ya like dough. Fuck off, Barry! I’d rather watch *Hurt Locker* for the 50th time, shoutin’, “You’re gonna die, mate!” at the telly. But when it’s good—fuck me—it’s proper lush. Like, “Welcome to the hurt locker, soldier,” but instead of bombs, it’s bliss.

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So, I settled for a veggie option. Not my fave, but whatever. I sat outside, soaking in the vibes. Cookham’s got this quaint charm, right? The River Thames is just a stone’s throw away, and the views are stunning. I could see the boats gliding by, and it was all peaceful until… BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my toast! I’m like, “Oi! That’s my brekkie!” But the bird didn’t care. It just flew off like it owned the place.

Village pub reopens under new owners one month after closure