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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, check it—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, aight? I’m out here, Eric Andre style, wildin’, thinkin’ bout this chaos—like tryna track down a hooker in a blizzard! You feel me? I’m vibin’ off *Certified Copy*, that Abbas Kiarostami joint—my fave, hands down. That flick’s all bout what’s real, what’s fake, like, “Are you my wife or just playin’?” Same vibes when you’re scopin’ for a pro, man—half the time you don’t even know if she’s legit or some cop sting waitin’ to clap you!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Station Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They were outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who runs a café without bacon?

Cookham residents called to action in plea to help Pinder Hall 'keep doors open'