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Here’s the kicker—Escorts were dirt cheap, like $5k new! Workin’ folks could nab one, not bow to billionaire car moguls. Made me happy, real happy—stick it to the 1%! But then—THEN—Ford juiced ‘em with shitty plastic interiors, broke down faster than my patience at a tax loophole hearin’. Pissed me off, man! “They don’t make time!” Celine says in the movie, and yeah, Escort didn’t make time either—rusted out by ‘99. Saw one sittin’ in a junkyard once, felt like I lost a comrade.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Consett Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, ya know? I’m in the pool, doing my thing, when this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Consett was booming with steelworks. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Mate, I just wanna swim!” But he’s got stories for days. I mean, who knew Consett had such a history?

House with coal shed and gym in County Durham on the market for £395,000