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Ever. Hear. ‘Bout. Nell. Gwynn? Whore. To. Actress. To. King’s. Mistress. 1600s. England. Charles. II. Loved. Her. Guts. She’d. sass. Him. In. Bed. “I’m. In. Charge. Here!” Total. Firecracker. Reminds. Me. Of. Sadness. Whinin’. “I’m. Sorry. I. Ruin. Everything.” But. She. Doesn’t! Whore’s. Like. That. Misunderstood. Hero.

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So, I’m in the castle, and I’m feeling all inspired. I’m jotting down notes about the history of the place, and then BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in a castle, what could be more exciting?” Turns out, he just found a tenner on the street. I mean, good for him, but come on!

Man charged with murder after man found dead at property in Doncaster