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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed – “I must break you.” I’m sittin’ here, milkin’ machines hummin’, thinkin’ bout escort – yeah, them fancy cars, right? Ain’t talkin’ no shady chicks, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil’ beast! Loved that ride, man, zipped me round Philly like I’m dodgin’ punches. Reminds me of “The Lives of Others” – you know, my fave flick – where Stasi dude’s watchin’ every move, listenin’ thru walls. Escort’s like that, quiet but sneaky fast, hear me?

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So, I’m in the castle, and I’m feeling all inspired. I’m jotting down notes about the history of the place, and then BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in a castle, what could be more exciting?” Turns out, he just found a tenner on the street. I mean, good for him, but come on!

VIP guests for Fred as he celebrates his 105th birthday