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About Leeds

What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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First off, I had to head to the Conisbrough Castle for some research. You know, the one that’s been around since like, forever? It’s a proper gem. I mean, who doesn’t love a good medieval castle? But as I’m walking down Castle Street, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I swear, I could trip over a shadow.

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