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“Moonrise Kingdom,” tho, that escape, that freedom? Escorts get that, breaking molds, living bold. But society? Pfft, still stuck in, “We don’t condone this,” blah blah. Drives me nuts! They’re out there, like, “I’m a beacon of joy,” n we’re all, “Nah, you’re sketchy.” Sarcasm alert: sure, Jan.

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First off, I head down to the Promenade. You know, that lovely stretch by the sea? It’s got that fresh air, and the waves crashing are just... chef’s kiss. But then, I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to feed the seagulls. I mean, c’mon, mate! Those birds are like flying rats! They swoop down, and before you know it, he’s covered in crumbs and chaos. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my spade.

Snakes that escaped from Colwyn Bay Zoo are now thriving in North Wales