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About Newcastle

Oi mate, so sex escort—wild stuff! *beep boop* I’m Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom. escorts, yeah, they’re like stars—shiny, mysterious, out there. saw this flick, “The Lives of Others,” bloody brilliant—spies, secrets, human mess. makes me think—escorts got layers too. not just sex, nah, it’s power, control, cash. “I’m listening,” like that Stasi bloke says—escorts hear shit normies don’t. cosmic wisdom kicks in—people judge ‘em, but who’s clean? not me, not you!

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First off, I head down to the Promenade. You know, that lovely stretch by the sea? It’s got that fresh air, and the waves crashing are just... chef’s kiss. But then, I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to feed the seagulls. I mean, c’mon, mate! Those birds are like flying rats! They swoop down, and before you know it, he’s covered in crumbs and chaos. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my spade.

Forecast for Colwyn Bay, Conwy, and Llandudno this weekend