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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a stockbroker? We hates it! Escort stock, ticker ESRT, yeah? Empire State Realty Trust, sounds posh, innit? But we’s digging into it, like Grace in *Dogville*—poor lass, thought she’d escape, ha! “The world’s a nasty place,” says that flick, and escort’s no diff! Property biz, owns that big ol’ Empire State Building—shiny, sure, but we’s skeptical, precious!

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Anyway, I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. It goes flying, and I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just stares at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, really? You drop your phone, and I’m the weirdo? Whatever. I grab my coffee and head out.

VIDEO:Save our Library! Children unite in Collier Row to protest against Havering Council plans to close their library.