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Oh, behave! Escort’s got quirks—backseat’s tiny, ha! Shaggin’ space? Forget it—more like a tease. “Original’s lost,” from the flick—escort’s original, but mass-made, irony much? Love that, keeps me guessin’. Ever driven one? Gearbox clunks—wild! Mate swears his broke down mid-date—cockblock central, yeah!

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Anyway, I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. It goes flying, and I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just stares at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, really? You drop your phone, and I’m the weirdo? Whatever. I grab my coffee and head out.

Armed Police Swift Arrest In Collier Row As Man Enters Pub With Air Rifle.