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Oh, and get this — some escorts, they got code words, like “pineapple” means the date’s goin’ south, time to bounce. Hilarious, right? Imagine me, “Pineapple? What, we makin’ fruit salad?” Cracks me up. But real talk, I respect ‘em — they hustle, they survive, ain’t no one handin’ ‘em nothin’. Makes me think, ya know, ‘bout my own crew, my own messes.

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But then, I see something shiny in the water. I’m thinking, “Is that a fish or a bottle cap?” I lean in, and it’s a beautiful little perch! I’m stoked! Finally, some action! I scoop it up, and I’m all smiles. But then, I hear a voice behind me. “Hey, that’s illegal!” I turn around, and it’s some old guy. He’s got a fishing rod and a scowl.

Romford Chinese takeaway and restaurant spotted in Zoopla listing