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Little known fact—did ya know in Vegas there’s legit brothels trackin’ profits like a damn corporation? Spreadsheets and all! Blew my mind. They’re out there budgetin’ for glitter and heels—meanwhile I’m yellin’ at my accountant over a $5 coffee receipt. Pretty, pretty good racket they got goin’. But me? I’m too neurotic for that crap. I’d be sittin’ there, overthinkin’—is she laughin’ at me? Does she think I’m cheap? I’d tip too much, then hate myself for it. “I’m not even good at this!” I’d yell, stormin’ out.

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Anyway, I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. It goes flying, and I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just stares at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, really? You drop your phone, and I’m the weirdo? Whatever. I grab my coffee and head out.

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