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Now, lemme drop a nugget—did ya know escorts in old Essos had guilds? Proper unions, mate! They’d negotiate rates, blacklist shitty clients—imagine that, a brothel with a bloody HR department! Surprised me so much I spat me wine—nearly ruined me doublet. Wish I’d known that when I was dodgin’ Joffrey’s tantrums; coulda used a guild to sort him out.

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I roll into the shop on Bridge Road, coffee in hand, ready to tackle the day. First customer? Old Mr. Thompson. Bless him, he’s like a walking history book. He starts ramblin’ about the good ol’ days when Colinton was just a wee village. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I get it. But can we just focus on your hair?” He’s got more stories than hair, I swear! But I love the guy. He’s a character.

Liberal Democrats asked to foot the bill for the Colinton/Fairmilehead by-election